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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22978096">The sun is too harsh in the mo(u)rning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat/pseuds/Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat'>Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Aka several murder attempts, Binny is a menace, Daisy Wells is bad at feelings, Dyslexic Rebecca 'Beanie' Martineau, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Featuring Lavinia Temple's abandonment issues, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Katherine 'Kitty' Freebody is mischievous, Lavinia Temple is a good friend, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Rebecca 'Beanie' Martineau has dyscalcula, Sick Daisy is a menace, The Freebody's are like three minutes away from outright adopting Beanie, These guys are fundamentally kids and they've seen a lot of death, This is teen purely for the copious swearing in chapter 3, just all the time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:09:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22978096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat/pseuds/Give_Me_A_Karking_KitKat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavinia thinks, mildly, that all her friends have the subtly of a brick wall when it comes to feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clementine Delacroix &amp; Amina El Maghrabi, Daisy Wells &amp; Hazel Wong, Katherine 'Kitty' Freebody &amp; Rebecca 'Beanie' Martineau, Katherine 'Kitty' Freebody &amp; Roberta 'Binny' Freebody, Lavinia Temple &amp; Amina El Maghrabi, Lavinia Temple &amp; Daisy Wells, Lavinia Temple &amp; Hazel Wong, Lavinia Temple &amp; Katherine 'Kitty' Freebody, Lavinia Temple &amp; Rebecca 'Beanie' Martineau, very very minor Daisy Wells/Amina El Maghrabi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Sometimes, your friends notice more than you think</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/clickingkeyboards/gifts">clickingkeyboards</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I came up with this while rambling into the Murder Most Unladylike discord (join us if you want! https://discord.gg/CKjAmzG) and it wouldn't leave me alone.</p><p>Also yes I did just decide to throw in every headcanon I have.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lavinia Temple, for all her shortcomings, is not stupid. Unobservent, yes, but not stupid. So despite the way the others try to hide it, she knows they have nightmares (they share a room for God's sake- it's hard <i>not</i> to notice Beanie crawling into Kitty's bed at God knows what hour).</p><p>It had, of course, started with Beanie. As long as she'd known her, Lavinia had known Beanie had nightmares. The girl was like a startled mouse. However, after the mess that was their third year, and then whatever in God's name happened at Daisy's house (and Lavinia is not upset about being left out, she's not), the nightmares had increased in both intensity and frequency. Which was fine. Kitty usually delt with them, it didn't bother Lavinia, no one mentioned it, everything was fine. Until, unfortunately, it was not.</p><p>⁂</p><p>Lavinia was woken by the thud of someone falling out of bed ungracefully. This was not an unusual occurrence, considering Beanie had all the grace of a legless lamb. She rolled over, and waited for the tell-tale sound of Beanie sliding into Kitty's bed, and softly shaking her awake, where they would inevitably talk until they fell asleep. (Lavinia was not <i>jealous</i> of their relationship. She really wasn't. Who would want someone coming into your bed for comfort at all hours of the night?). However, the sound never came. Instead, Lavinia was treated to the sound of soft sniffling.</p><p>'Oh for God's sake' she thought, rolling back over to look at Beanie and- yep, she was just crying on the floor. </p><p>Lavinia quickly ran through her options.</p><p>They were rather limited.</p><p>Option one: wake up Kitty, get them to do their thing, pass back out and completely forget about it in the morning<br/>
Option two: ignore Beanie completely, and just go back to sleep<br/>
Option three: comfort Beanie.</p><p>Option two was swiftly discarded, and Lavinia waved between one and three for a long moment. That was, until Beanie's cries peaked up a notch, and her breathing became all panicked. And screw it, even if she wasn't really needed, Lavinia <i>cared</i>. Damn it. In a well-practiced movement that spoke of countless days of simply rolling off her bed, she slid out of her covers and into a crouch by Beanie's side.</p><p>"What's up, shortie?" She asked, for once keeping the harsh note out of her voice.</p><p>Apparently, that still wasn't soft enough, because Beanie startled like a rabbit in headlights.</p><p>"No- nothing." She stuttered, trying to wipe her eyes.</p><p>Lavinia gave her an extremely dry look. "Beanie," she said, not unkindly, "it's the middle of the night, and you're crying on the floor." She then sighed, and rubbed her temples. "What's wrong?"</p><p>Reluctantly, Beanie mumbled, "Nightmare."</p><p>"Yeah, I know," Lavinia said, ignoring Beanie's look of suprise (she wasn't that bad of a friend, was she? That they thought she didn't notice, didn't care?), "but usually by this point you're talking with Kitty under the covers, and I can go back to sleep. What's different this time?"</p><p>Beanie looked almost shocked Lavinia knew so much about her sleeping issues, which sent an uncomfortable pang through her heart (was she really that bad?). "Uh, it's just," she absentmindedly began chewing on a strand of hair, "it's just that Kittydidn'tsleepsowelllastnightandIdon'twanttoruinanothernightofsleep." Beanie said in one go. Lavinia took a moment to decipher the rapid speaking, and groaned quietly.</p><p>"Beanie, I'm certain Kitty would rather have no sleep at all than leave you with your nightmares," She said, quirking her eyebrow at the small girl, "you're basically siblings. Plus," she added, slightly more hesitantly, "they've been pretty bad, recently."</p><p>Beanie hiccuped (oh no Lavinia really didn't want to make her cry, oh dear Lord she was bad at this) and slumped into the bigger girl, knocking her from her crouch and onto the floor. Her arms were suddenly around her waist and Lavinia had an lapful of crying girl. </p><p>"I keep-" Beanie hiccuped, pressing her leaky eyes into Lavinia's shoulder (and she couldn't find it in herself to begrudge her for getting snot on her pajamas), "I keep dreaming of failing my science test," she mumbled, unhappily.</p><p>'trust Beanie to fail her exams, even in her dreams', Lavinia thought, faintly amused, a wiry smile crossing her lips.</p><p>"and then Miss Bell shows up," she wailed quietly, "and she's dead and dissapointed in me," she sniffed, and Lavinia held her a tiny bit closer, and-</p><p>"and then Mr Curtis shows up," she said, voice breaking.</p><p>'The infamous Mr Curtis,' Lavinia thought, slightly bitterly, 'someone who nobody will tell me about.' (it's fine, she doesn't need to know about what happened. It doesn't hurt, being left out. It doesn't. She should focus on Beanie right now, because she's <i>hurting.</i>)</p><p>"and he's- he's choking on his tea and suddenly he's <i>Kitty,</i>" she wailed, "or Daisy or Hazel or <i>you</i>, and, and, and..." Beanie broke off into frantic wheezing.</p><p>Lavinia really didn't know what to do, panicking slightly herself. She wrapped her arms firmly around Beanie and began rocking backwards and forwards soothingly, trying to get the panicking girl to calm down. Softly, she started humming a nonsense, calming tune.</p><p>Supprisingly, it seemed to be working. Beanie all but collapsed into her grip, frantic breaths petering down into softer wheezing. Actually, it seemed to be working a little <i>too</i> well, and Beanie's exhausted breaths evened out into steady sleeping.</p><p>'Shit', Lavinia thought, unwilling to move from her spot on the floor and risking waking Beanie. She was trapped.</p><p>Carefully, she dragged her covers off of her bed and wrapped them around the both of them, because damnit Matron insisted the windows always be open and it was <i>cold.</i> And quietly, still holding her friend, she too drifted off to sleep.</p><p>⁂</p><p>"This is <i>perfect</i> blackmail material." Was not, Lavinia reflected, what she wanted to wake up to first thing in the morning.</p><p>Groggily raising her head, the first thing she saw was Beanie koala-ing to her, arms still wrapped tightly around her waist. The second thing she saw was Kitty Freebody, a mischievous grin on her face which spoke of nothing but future torment.</p><p>Beanie was still asleep.</p><p>"You say one word of this, Freebody, and I will <i>punch you so hard you end up in next week.</i>" Lavinia spat, glowering from above Beanie's head. Any threatening effect was, of course, ruined by the small girl clinging to her.</p><p>Kitty just laughed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sometimes, friendship is theft</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Next to go had, surprisingly, been Hazel. It wasn't like it wasn't obvious that Hazel suffered from nightmares- it was actually starkly clear that she did- it was just that Lavinia did not expect Hazel to <i>ever</i> talk to her about them. She had Daisy, after all (Lavinia refuses to accept that she's bitter. She's not, she's not, it just seems that everyone has somebody but her), and anyways, everyone knows Lavinia has the emotional comforting ability of a letter from your estranged aunt.</p><p>⁂</p><p>The experience was semi-surreal. She'd woken up in a little bit of a panic (not from her own nightmares, no, she doesn't get those), to see Hazel sat up in bed, a curious look on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she seemed to have mostly calmed down by the time Lavinia woke up. She was staring at Kitty- well, actually, Beanie who was once more also in Kitty's bed- and her expression made Lavinia's gut twist.</p><p>She carefully sat up, watching her cautiously. "Hazel?" She ventured quietly, unsure as to why her gut insisted on talking to her. Maybe it had something to do with the abject <i>sorrow</i> on her face.</p><p>The girls' eyes snapped to her, and a knowing frown crossed her face. "Nightmares?" She asked, sympathetically.</p><p>Lavinia crossed her arms, scowling. "No. I should be asking you that, Miss I'm-crying-at-night." Lavinia shot, suddenly defensive. She didn't get nightmares.</p><p>Hazel rolled her eyes (Daisy really <i>had</i> been rubbing off on her (she definitely doesn't want to be that close to someone, shut up)), "Whatever you say."</p><p>Lavinia's scowl deepened, and she had half a mind to just lie down, roll over and go back to sleep (and definitely not back to the nightmares she didn't have), but her concern won out.</p><p>"Why didn't you just wake Daisy up?" She asked, bluntly.</p><p>Hazel blinked at her owlishly.</p><p>Lavinia sighed. "You had a nightmare, right? Why didn't you just wake your <i>best friend</i> up," her voice was distinctly tinged with envy, "and talk to her about it, instead of sitting there crying."</p><p>Hazel blushed slightly, and awkwardly avoided eye contact for a second, embarrassed. "It wasn't her I was having a nightmare about, and you know Daisy-" Hazel waved her hand about in a vauge dramatic movement, "-she's not the... <i>best</i> at comfort."</p><p>Lavinia gave her the most deadpan look she could muster. "She has the emotional intelligence of a snobbish <i>cat.</i>" she said flatly. It startled a half-laugh out of Hazel, and Lavinia felt weirdly proud.</p><p>"Lavinia!", Hazel laugh-scolded, "you can't talk about her like that!"</p><p>She must have been a little too loud, because Beanie stirred and rolled to her other side, burrowing further into Kitty's arms, and Kitty clutched her closer, mumbling in her sleep. Hazel's eyes instantly snapped back to them, and some of the tension left her body.</p><p>'Oh. <b>Oh.</b>' Lavinia thought, as she remembered Hazel's earlier words. <i>"It wasn't <b>her</b> I was having a nightmare about."</i></p><p>"You've been having nightmares about the others?" She blurted out, tactless as ever.</p><p>Hazel took a sharp breath in, and then shrugged. "Mainly Daisy, but sometimes- sometimes it's Beanie. After... well, you know."</p><p>Lavinia did, indeed, know, considering she had- dreams (she refuses to admit they're nightmares) about their (once smallest) member collapsing to the ground and not getting back up, bloodied pipe above her.</p><p>They usually ended up with her having to check on Beanie in the morning, but that was beside the point.</p><p>"Yeah.", she said gruffly, looking at Beanie fondly.</p><p>Hazel nodded, unsurprised. "You get them too." She said, knowingly.</p><p>"Yeah." Lavinia admitted, fiddling with her bedsheets. She paused, searching for the right words, "I don't know what I would have done if Binny's midget friend hadn't arrived when she did." Her hands flexed in the covers, as her gut clenched in anxiety, remembering that awful night.</p><p>Hazel made a choked laughing sound. "I'm sorry, but 'midget friend'? You do remember her name's Martha, right?" </p><p>Lavinia scoffed, "Of course not."</p><p>Hazel cracked up quietly, snickering under her breath, which made Lavinia grin as that weird warmth came back.</p><p>Hazel, ever observant (even at God knows what hour in the morning, after coming down from a panic inducing nightmare, laughing to ease the growing tension she'd felt coming from her friend), noticed.</p><p>"You pretend to be so tough, but you're really soft at heart." Hazel said, eyebrows raised in a way that said 'you can't deny it'. (It was- interesting, how much Hazel had changed since she first joined them: so much braver and bolder, and much more settled in herself)</p><p>Lavinia looked away, and neither confirmed nor denied Hazel's statement, though her silence was almost confirmation in and of itself. That and the soft, embarrassed, blush tinging her cheeks.</p><p>"So what if I am?" She grumbled, face as red as a traffic light.</p><p>Hazel's smile only grew. "It's just nice to know you care. You're almost as bad as Daisy at showing it." She ribbed softly.</p><p>Lavinia cleared her throat and pointedly avoided looking at Hazel, feeling very happy (it was nice, to know she was wanted. That somebody wanted her. That she was comparable to Daisy in a <i>good</i> way. Her dad- he tried, was trying, but it was hard. Especially because he'd let her down before.) "Anyway, do you think you can go back to sleep now?"</p><p>Hazel shrugged, still smiling gently. "I'm feeling better, but I'm not tired, unfortunately."</p><p>Lavinia sighed. "Well I'm not going to sleep until you do. We can be tired together." She said, although she was exhausted. And cold. Silently, she glared at the open window.</p><p>Hazel caught the movement, and snickered. "I doubt it's actually good for your health: Matron just thinks we should all be cold."</p><p>Lavinia had to agree. No <i>sane</i> person would sleep with the window open. "I bet she doesn't even leave her own window open. Just the dorms." She said, smirking.</p><p>Hazel nodded empathetically.</p><p>⁂</p><p>If, the next morning, both Hazel and Lavinia were practically dead on their feet, nobody mentioned it. Neither did they mention anything when Lavinia stole chocolate bourbons from some shrimps at bunbreak, and gave them to Hazel, with a muttered, "For last night, I guess."</p><p>Hazel had a conflicted second where she seemed to debate telling Lavinia off for the theft, before positively <em>beaming</em> at her, while the others looked on in confusion.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sometimes, being friends means breaking into their sister's dorm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The one with the swearing</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Then it was Kitty</p><p>Lavinia did not, of course, expect to be woken by Kitty aggressively kicking her in the shins. Particularly at what looked like- from a quick glance out the open window (sometimes she really hated Matron)- one am.</p><p>"What the fuck, Freebody?" She hissed, drawing her shins up on reflex.</p><p>Her scowl quickly faded though, when she took in the teary expression on Kitty's face.</p><p>"What the fuck, Freebody?" She asked, confused.</p><p>Kitty still didn't answer, and instead yanked her out of bed with a force Lavinia didn't realise she possessed.</p><p>Stumbling over her own feet, reflexes hazy with sleep, she took too long to react to Kitty pulling her along until they were nearly out of the door.</p><p>"Wait! Hold the hell up, where are we going?"</p><p>"To Binny." Kitty snarled, tears dripping down her face.</p><p>"Why in God's name am I here then?" Lavinia whisper-yelled, confused, frustrated, and worried (damn it).</p><p>"Because you're good at beating people up!" Kitty spat right back, face scrunched up with sadness.</p><p>It took Lavinia a moment to process what Kitty said, and then it hit. She felt- almost touched, but that wasn't really relevant right then.</p><p>"Kitty." She said, warily, "Binny's fine. She's going to be fine. You had a nightmare."</p><p>"You think I don't know that?" She hissed, glaring through her tears, "I'm not <i>stupid!</i> I know she's probably fine, I <b>know</b>, but that doesn't stop me worrying that she's <i>not."</i> The last part was semi-wailed, and for once Lavinia didn't think it was her dramatic tendencies that was driving it. </p><p>Lavinia took a half step back, completely unsure how to handle this. Her heart was going a mile a minute and she could feel the building anxiety. This was only worsened when Kitty burst into further tears.</p><p>Raising her hands placicatingly, she interrupted Kitty's sobbing by admitting defeat, "Okay, okay, we can break into Binny's dorm if you want to." She whispered fantically (good lord she was bad at comfort. Hazel would have probably found some way to calm Kitty down which didn't involve suggesting breaking and entering).</p><p>At this statement, Kitty lit up. She, unfortunately for Lavinia's (almost non-existent) emotional comforting skills, didn't stop crying though.</p><p>"Thanks." She sniffled, rubbing her eyes (which didn't stop the crying, merely halted it momentarily). "Let's go."</p><p>Lavina wondered, slightly fearfully, what she had just agreed to.</p><p>She reluctantly let Kitty drag her into the corridor, which was pitch black. Usually they'd be smart enough to bring torches, or even just <i>candles,</i> but apparently as a duo they had the combined brainpower of a flying squirrel that'd hit a window one time too many.</p><p>Lavinia <b>hated</b> the dark.</p><p>"So, uh. Do you know where Binny's dorm actually <i>is</i>? Because I certainly don't." Lavinia asked, trying to fill in the awkward (and definitely not at all scary) quiet.</p><p>Kitty gave her a disbelieving look, finally startled out of crying. "Seriously? It's not like we <i>live</i> here or something." She said sarcastically. Lavinia pointedly ignored the way her voice wobbled.</p><p>Lavina flushed an embarrassed pink. "So what if I don't remember where anything is?" She mumbled, suddenly feeling rather shy.</p><p>Kitty gave a wet laugh. "Trust you to genuinely not bother to remember where anyone else's dorm is." she said, smiling (and no longer crying! Success!). "Thankfully, <b>I</b> know where her dorm is. Let's go."</p><p>Kitty stealthily set off, Lavinia following notably less stealthily behind her. She could only <i>just</i> make out Kitty's silhouette in front of her, and it definitely wasn't making her anxious. Definitely.</p><p>Fuck, she was so anxious.</p><p>⁂</p><p>When they reached the dorm door, they came across a problem neither of them had the braincells to think about before now: what, exactly, where they going to <i>do</i> once they broke into Binny's dorm?</p><p>"Shit, what are we going to do when we break in?" Kitty asked, suddenly having second thoughts.</p><p>"Talk to her?" Lavinia suggested, mildly confused. Sure, she had brothers, but she hadn't actually <i>seen</i> them in forever, plus they were quite a bit older than her. She had forgotten the true sibling dynamic.</p><p>Kitty shot her a scandalised look. "Of course not!" She snapped. Doing such a thing would be <i>heresy.</i></p><p>"Then what?" Lavinia asked, slightly miffed.</p><p>"I don't know, I'll think of something when we go in. Oldest first?" Kitty said, nervously.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm not going in first; she's <i>your</i> sister." Lavinia said, feeling more awkward in that one moment than she had in her entire life combined.</p><p>Kitty gave her a (very feeble) glare. "Fine. I'll go first." She said, opening the door.</p><p>They did not, unfortunately, expect the entire dorm to be up eating cake at - Lavinia glanced out of <i>their</i> open window (it was nice to know Matron did it to everyone) - two am.</p><p>Everyone froze.</p><p>Lavinia quietly watched as Kitty took in the scene and relaxed, her shoulders untensing.</p><p>"Why the fuuudge are you awake?" Kitty asked, only just remembering to censor herself in time.</p><p>"What the fuck are you doing in my dorm?" Binny shot back, looking somewhere between genuinely confused and furiously embarrassed.</p><p>"Binny!" Kitty said, affronted, "you can't <i>swear!"</i></p><p>"Yes I fucking <i>can!"</i> Binny hissed.</p><p>Lavinia interrupted what was bound to turn into an argument (that would, most likely, end in a threat of telling mum) with, "Oi, gremlin. She had a nightmare about you dying. Be nice."</p><p>Kitty gave her a look that clearly read <i>betrayal.</i></p><p>Binny floundered for a second, clearly struggling to formulate an appropriate response in front of company. Finally, she settled on, "Kitty, you <i>idiot,</i> I'm perfectly fine!"</p><p>"Yeah, well I know that now." Kitty grumbled. "I was worried. And don't call me an idiot!" She snapped the last part, obviously feeling semi-embarrassed about her feelings.</p><p>Binny, for all that she was an absolute <i>menace,</i> did, in fact, love her sister, so she went up and hugged Kitty, knowing the future teasing that she would suffer through because of it.</p><p>"Alright!" Lavinia said, breaking the 'aww this is cute' silence that had come over the dorm, "I'm going. Tomorrow's Sunday, so I doubt anyone will notice if you sleep here. Bye!" She turned around, leaving a fairly embarrassed Kitty behind her. "And don't worry!" She said, grinning, "I'll cover for you!" She closed the dorm door behind her.</p><p>That was probably a mistake, because she was now all alone in the dark, only faintly knowing her way back.</p><p>Fuck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Rooftops aren't the best place to have a heart to heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lavinia and Clementine have an ongoing feud don't @ me. Also I haven't read DSS so please don't spoiler me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Now, Amina and Lavinia weren't really... <i>friends,</i> par say, but it wasn't like Lavinia would just leave someone to their nighttime crying. That was just... wrong.</p><p>And anyway, Daisy and Hazel seemed to be making friends with her, which pretty much garunteed that she'd become part of their group in the near future. For all Daisy complained and grumbled about adding new detective society members, she caved pretty fast under a stern look from Hazel. (And anyway, Daisy wasn't opposed to Amina anymore, and it was clear to anyone with <i>eyes</i> that instead she was enamoured. Smitten, even. It's also quite clear that Amina is <i>awear</i> of that.)</p><p>So, here she was, awkwardly listening to Amina cry on the roof. At god knows what hour. (No she did not wake up because of a nightmare and decide to leave her room with a candle because staying in one place was making her too anxious. Absolutely not.). She's not being particularly loud about it, but it's almost the only sound in the whole dorms right now, and it definitely didn't freak her out when she heard it. Because crying from outside at stupid-o'clock is absolutely not terrifying.</p><p>What is it with the detective society and going into the roof to deal with their emotions? (Okay so really it's just Amina and Daisy, but two people is still two people too many. Lavinia is almost certain no one <i>else</i> in the school goes onto the roof to cry.) It's one of the worst places to be when emotions are running high, for so many reasons. And it's awkward to get up to, as well- it's like purposefully making comforting harder (Lavinia suspects that might be the point).</p><p>Multiple problems with going to comfort <b>Amina</b>, in particular, have immediately made themselves known, such as the fact she doesn't know her very well and climbing onto a roof is not really part of her skillset, even when it's not uncomfortably dark outside.</p><p>But letting her just cry it out while sat outside in a high place <i>really</i> doesn't sit well with her, so she finds herself climbing out to join her anyway. It's every bit as hard as she thought it would be, and Lavinia finds herself cursing her lack of athletic prowess in anything aside from tennis. (Tennis is great. Putting all her rage into a swing and watching the ball fly across the court is possibly the best sensation in the world). At least the moon's bright enough that she can sort of see what she's doing.</p><p>"Hi?" Lavinia says, awkwardly, once she's closer to Amina, trying her hardest not to startle her. It absolutely does not work, and Amina startles backwards with a (to her credit) quiet shriek. "Jesus Christ Lavinia, you startled me!" She hisses, one hand over her heart like she's trying to slow it down. "Why on earth are you up here?"</p><p>"... Because you're crying?" She says, slightly incredulous. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about." Amina says, staring Lavinia down, "I'm perfectly fine."</p><p>Lavinia returns a stare of her own, hoping her disbelief comes across well enough in the half-dark. "Amina," she says, very carefully (it's much harder to know what someone she doesn't know well will need, so she's treading lightly- she doesn't want to spook her, but she's not sure what <i>will</i> spook her), "perfectly fine people don't cry on the roof in the night."</p><p>"Oh, just leave me alone, will you? It's none of your business. We barely know eachother."</p><p>Lavinia runs a hand through her short hair, tugging on it slightly, and, instead of leaving, settles down on the roof. "I can't do that- I'll worry all night if I do." she admits, looking up at the stars.</p><p>"Why?" Amina questions, sounding genuinely confused.</p><p>"Because it's dark and you're upset and we're up someplace high?"</p><p>"Lavinia, you know as well as I know that I'm perfectly safe up here. And I'm <i>fine</i>. The rooftop's just freeing."</p><p>"Yes well maybe I get irrationally anxious about things, okay?" Lavinia muttered, frowning, "Sue me for worrying about you."</p><p>"Oh alright," Amina concedes, the defiance going out of her in a sigh, "I'll admit I might not be perfectly fine right now. I had a nightmare about my parents being accused of murder, if you must know. Brought all the awful feelings from July back." </p><p>Lavinia winces. "I can only imagine. That was a horrific weekend, and <b>I</b> only had to worry about my friends doing something stupid."</p><p>"You know, for all you pretend not to care about anyone, you're really quite protective of your friends." Amina notes, a considering look on her face. Lavinia doesn't like the way it feels almost like she's being read, like Amina is looking straight through her pretence of don't-care. "Despite what Clementine says, you're really quite alright."</p><p>A sudden scraping noise has both of their attention snapping towards the edge of the roof, just in time to see Clementine hoisting herself over. Speak of the devil and she shall appear, it seems. Clementine stands up, and immediately does a double take, looking just as surprised to see Lavinia there as Lavinia is to see her.</p><p>"Why the hell are <i>you</i> here?" She asks, somewhere between bewildered and hostile.</p><p>"I came to check up on Amina." Lavinia replies, frowning, "Why are <i>you</i> here?"</p><p>"To check up on Amina." She says, narrowing her eyes.</p><p>"Ladies, Ladies, you can <i>both</i> be concerned about my wellbeing." Amina interrupts, grinning slightly in the dim light.</p><p>They exchange one more suspicious look before backing down, and Lavinia begrudgingly lets Clementine past to sit next to Amina. They <i>are</i> friends, after all.</p><p>"Putting The Feud aside," Lavina says, unable to prevent herself from casting Clementine a dark look (Amina stiffles a laugh), "I guess I trust you enough to keep an eye on Amina, instead. Nightmares are no joke, especially ones like that."</p><p>""I guess"?" Clementine says, clearly offended, even as Lavinia waves her goodnight, and slips back into the dorms.</p><p>She catches Clementine asking her what she meant by the nightmares, and smiles a little to herself.</p><p>⁂</p><p>When Lavinia comes down for breakfast the next day, Amina pauses her conversation (teasing Daisy, seemingly her favourite thing to do) to give her a smile and a nod, and then starts talking again like she never stopped. Clearly, that is all the acknowledgement she's going to get.</p><p>At least, that's what she thinks until Clementine pulls her aside. "Thanks for doing that." She says, reluctantly. "Amina is so stubborn it's hard to pry out what's wrong, sometimes. Truce?"</p><p>And that is how The Feud goes a grand total of three weeks before being relevant again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Sickness is non-negotiable, unfortunately</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Daisy gets sick, and Lavinia has to deal with the dumbassary that is sick Daisy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And finally, it was Daisy. Out of all her friends (or, at least, she thinks they're friends), Daisy is the one she understands least. She's secretive, even when it seems like she's not, and she doesn't like to show <i>any</i> weakness.</p><p>That's why Lavinia was surprised to see Daisy twitch and mumble in her sleep, hands clenching and unclenching in a frantic panic. The usually infallible girl has fallen asleep at her desk, in the middle of study hall, and Lavinia is the only one who noticed.</p><p>Hazel's in the San, along with Kitty (they'd both caught some kind of mild fever, but the headaches had turned into migraines and Kitty had vomited away any chance of them being in class today), which means Lavinia can't just ignore it and leave Hazel and Daisy to sort it out themselves. Someone else will have to help Daisy calm down, which is never particularly fun.</p><p>She watches in a sort of muted fascination as Daisy's brows drew together into a concerned frown and her mouth twists into a grim line. The worry line on her forehead deepens. On her other side, Beanie seems completely oblivious, her mouth in grim line herself, as she chews on a plait and stares disparingly at their Latin assignment.</p><p>Taking a swift look around, Lavinia noted that even the girl in charge hadn't noticed, or if she had she was electing to ignore it (not really a suprise: Daisy was well liked and therefore could get away with stuff like this. Lavinia, on the other hand...). This means that Daisy's free to sleep though study hall.</p><p>Now, this wouldn't be an issue if this were anyone <b>but</b> Daisy, who everyone, even Beanie, quietly knows sometimes screams in her sleep. Never very loud, but in the near-silence of the hall, it'd be loud enough. And Lavinia was pretty sure she'd scream- any physical sign of a bad dream meant that Daisy was re-living her worst nightmare (because, even in sleep, Daisy seemed to try to downplay her terror).</p><p>And she was the only one available to wake Daisy up.</p><p>Lavinia almost didn't want to, considering Daisy had spent the grand total of five hours asleep in the last three days, but if she woke up screaming Lavinia knew their'd be hell to pay. Daisy <i>really</i> liked being fine, even when she definitely wasn't, and people asking after her health drove her up a wall.</p><p>With a quick glance to check nobody was watching, Lavinia scribbled, 'You were going to scream' in giant letters on her long-abandond latin paper, scrunched it up into a ball, and threw it at Daisy's head. It hit its mark, but, to her dismay, Daisy didn't wake up. She merely made a disgruntled noise in her sleep and furrowed her brows even further together.</p><p>God damnit.</p><p>Taking yet another figurative glance around the room, she hissed, "Daisy! Wake up, you chump!", to no effect. Despite herself, Lavinia was growing increasingly worried as Daisy began to shake slightly in her sleep, mouth pinched into sharp pain. This called for drastic measures.</p><p>Lavinia lobbed her (single, almost out of ink and significantly chewed) pen at Daisy's head, only for that, too, to be useless. It bounced onto the floor and rolled out of sight, never to be seen again.</p><p>"Oh for God's sake," she mumbled, glaring at the sleeping girl.</p><p>Reaching across to Daisy's desk, she put her hand on Daisy's shoulder, about to shake her awake, when suddenly her eyes snapped open. They were glazed, and unseeing, and Lavinia felt the heat radiating from her like a small furnace. Daisy's head swung round to look at her, and it was creepy looking into eyes so blind.</p><p>"Temple...?" She mumbled, "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Checking in on you? You're out of it."</p><p>"I'm perfectly alright."</p><p>Lavinia scoffs. "And I'm the queen of England. We're going to the San." She stood up and hauled Daisy up by the shoulder, which turned out to be a mistake when she got an elbow to the gut for her troubles. She hissed in pain and drew one arm around her stomach.</p><p>"Okay, to hell with not making a scene." She grumbled, wincing.</p><p>"I'm taking Daisy to the San. She's got whatever Kitty and Hazel have." Lavinia announced loudly, pulling Daisy back up out of the chair which she'd sunk back down in, and briskly turned around, dragging Daisy after her. She didn't wait for a response.</p><p>⁂</p><p>They were halfway down the corridor before Daisy seemed to realise what was going on.</p><p>"Assistant Temple! I am utterly fine, this is completely unnecessary!"</p><p>Lavinia gave her a quick once over - shining with illness, staggering instead of walking, hazy eyes - and responded, "No, you're really not."</p><p>Daisy glared at her, but in her current state it was less threatening and more funny.</p><p>"I'm perfectly healthy! Do you think an ill person would be able to do <i>this?</i>" so saying, she shook Lavinia's arm off of her, and took a few wobbly steps forward, before promptly collapsing against the wall.</p><p>"You're fucking stupid, you know that?" Lavinia grouched, collecting the swaying girl from the wall.</p><p>Daisy ignored her, cheeks tinged red.</p><p>They walked on in awkward silence for a bit, Lavinia supporting a thoroughly displeased Daisy with an arm around her shoulders. Unfortunately, Daisy's swaying suddenly became much more dramatic, and, to Lavinia's horror, she fainted. Right into her arms.</p><p>"Jesus Fuck, Daisy!" She yelped, staggering under the sudden weight. The San seemed awfully far away.</p><p>⁂</p><p>The first words out of Daisy's mouth upon awakening in the San were, "How did I get here?" Rapidly followed by, "Is Hazel okay?" (Lavinia was <i>not</i> jealous that they were that close, although, to be fair, if Daisy was in the San Hazel usually wasn't far behind.)</p><p>"You got sick, and Hazel's fine. She's doing better than you, anyway. Why in God's name did you think it was a good idea to go to class like that?" Lavinia asked agresively. Half-carrying, half-dragging Daisy had frankly taken a lot of effort, and she felt she was allowed to be upset about it.</p><p>"Because I was <i>perfectly fine,</i> assistant Temple! It was your fault for pulling me out of class."</p><p>Lavinia stared at her like she'd grown a second head. "You know what, I can't be bothered to deal with this today. You were going to scream. I'm pretty sure you were having a fever nightmare." She stood up to leave, only to be brought staggering back to her seat by a wave of nausea.</p><p>"Fuck. You." She grumbled, glaring at Daisy.</p><p>She cackled.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This has been written for FIVE MONTHS and I was stuck on the previous chapter</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Sometimes, people are there for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turns out, Daisy isn't actually last. It's herself, instead, after taking a nap during the day.</p><p>⁂</p><p>Lavinia was back in the blankness. A dark expance of nothing that stretched as far as she could see. No one and nothing, just her. Usually, that's how this nightmare goes. She's trapped in a dark expanse of nothing, all alone, until she wakes up. Screaming doesn't make a sound (there are no other sounds, either, just the pounding of her heart) and she <i>hates</i> it. Hates it with a passion. But it's fine, it'll be <i>fine,</i> she's used to being alone. She's used to the blankness.</p><p>She's had this exact nightmare countless times before.</p><p>Except, this time, something changes. Her old house looms out of the darkness like a car bursting through fog, and Lavinia can't stop herself from wandering in. Shouting emanates from the dining room. Her parents are screaming at eachother, just like they used to, and her dad slams a folder on the table and yells, "That's it! In getting a divorce!"</p><p>Her mother scowls, and shouts back, "Fine!", before storming off and slamming the door behind her. Lavinia winces. Her father throws his hands up and stomps off to his study, leaving Lavinia staring at the space where they had been. Her brothers have gone as far away as they can and they barely ever send her letters, and Lavinia is all alone. Snapshots of her parent's messy divorce float by, and Lavinia scowls. It's fine. She's fine being alone; it's what she's best at. She's <b>fine</b>. Everyone always leaves but it's alright, it's alright. She can handle it.</p><p>The dining room twists into the dorm room, devoid of anyone but her, personal items missing.</p><p>She's pushed her friends away. They don't need her, don't <i>want</i> her, and she feels stupid, and she's alone again, but this time it's of her own making. She's too blunt, too brash, too rude. Too much of what nobody wants, too loud and unladylike and mean, with a selfish streak a mile wide. She forced them all away. A sort of keening noise escapes her throat, and then dark takes over again.</p><p>It isn't any dark. It's the dark of the school's underground passageways, damp and dirty and dangerous.</p><p>Beanie is crumpled on the floor like a broken doll.</p><p>Lavinia's breath catches.</p><p>She <b>failed</b> her friends, failed to protect them, and now one of them is <i>dead</i>. She sees Enid towering above Beanie, who flickers between herself and Hazel and Kitty and Amina and Daisy (so sure she is invincible, it's going to get them all <i>killed</i>), and the murderer changes as well, first to Miss Griffin, cold and calculating, then Mrs Thompson-Bates, lashing out with no care, and finally her husband, cruel and vicious, and all her friends are dead, they're going to die because they're reckless and brave and selfless, and she can't stop them. She can't stop them or save them or even protect them and they're <i>going to die</i>.</p><p>And then who will she have? Her father surely doesn't want her, he's already pushed her away so many times, her mother never cares for her, her brothers all left the first chance they got, and Patricia is surely only pretending to care, because no one ever cares. No one ever stays. She hates being alone with such a furious passion it <i>burns,</i> but it always turns out that way.</p><p>⁂</p><p>She wakes with a strangled shout, breathing erratic and heart going a mile a minute. The dorm room is empty. She's <i><b>alone</b></i>. </p><p>She's alone she's alone she's—</p><p>She needs to calm down.</p><p>She tries to force her heart to stop hammering, but she can't and there's nobody to <i>focus</i> on, and all that happens is that her breathing picks up a notch and dear Lord she can't <i>breathe,</i> can't think, and suddenly she is crying, her breathing hitching on sobs, and she is suffocating on air, drowning all alone, and blackness is creeping into her vision and when had she begun shaking? She can't <i>think</i>.</p><p>The door opens casually, but Beanie takes one glance at her and is suddenly sat by her side, a worried hand on her arm. Hazel is right after, looking at her with that searching look Daisy had helped her perfect.</p><p>"Lavinia?" Beanie asks, worried eyes boring into her. She can't respond, still breathing too fast to do anything but half choke.</p><p>"Hey, Lavinia, focus on me" Hazel says, drawing Lavinia's eyes to her. "Can you follow my breathing for me? In... out..." Hazel places a hand on her chest to emphasize her exaggerated breathing, and Lavinia finds herself following along. Beanie squeezes her arm tightly, and Lavinia relaxes a little. It takes a few more minutes, but Lavinia stops heaving in air like a drowning man, and settles back into a regular rhythm.</p><p>Embarrassed, she feels her face heat up in shame.</p><p>Beanie has none of that, and hugs her tightly. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"Yeah..." Lavinia mumbles gruffly, hugging Beanie back. It's much more awkward now, because Beanie is all gangly limbs and no longer fits comfortably under Lavinia's chin (and also because two people don't really fit on one school bed anymore, even just sat up), but it makes her feel a lot better.</p><p>Hazel, eyes kind, says, "You had a nightmare, didn't you? Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>"No thanks." Lavinia says, shaking her head. Hazel pats her arm comfortingly instead.</p><p>Kitty throws the dorm door open very dramatically, and it knocks Lavinia's hat from off her bed post. She glances over to apologise, and frowns. "What's up?"</p><p>"Lavinia had a nightmare and then she freaked out like I do sometimes!" Beanie explains brightly, causing Lavinia to flush again.</p><p>"<i>Beanie.</i>" she hisses. Hazel laughs, damn her.</p><p>"Oh." Kitty says, frowning. "Anything I can do to help? You know, as repayment for," she waves her hand, "Binny."</p><p>Lavinia shakes her head no, but Beanie (once again) overrides, "She relaxes when you hug her!". She squeezes Lavinia to make the point. Betraying herself, Lavinia feels her shoulders untense.</p><p>Kitty snickers at Lavinia's scowl, and joins them sitting on the bed. There really isn't enough space for four people, but they make it work. Beanie winds up tucked beneath Lavinia's chin, Kitty on her left and Hazel on her right. It is a cuddle pile that will last.</p><p>Later, when Amina pokes her head round the door, she makes a cooing sound. "Aw, that's really sweet. Do you know where your missing member is?"</p><p>The group collectively make a noise along the lines of, 'no idea' and Amina nods. "I knew you cared." She says, grinning, and goes off. Presumably to find and tease Daisy.</p><p>"What was that about?" Kitty asks.</p><p>"Just a conversation we had once. It doesn't matter." Lavinia mumbles.</p><p>"Well, she's right!" Beanie declares, "You do care!"</p><p>Hazel nods in agreement.</p><p>Not much later, Daisy slips into the room. She takes them in, and nods. "Amina reported correctly. How are you feeling, Assistant Temple?"</p><p>"Better."</p><p>"I would assume so. You do always need physical comfort after dreaming of abandonment."</p><p>Lavinia stares at her, gobsmacked. "How did you know that?"</p><p>"Simple, really. You only get clingy after some nightmares, and those are the ones where you reach out in your sleep." Daisy frowns. "Though it is illogical, because you are a," her nose wrinkles, "permanent member of the detective society, I understand how," she scowls, "dreaming of being abandoned can make you upset."</p><p>"Wow, that looked like it was physically painful for you." Lavinia mutters. Hazel smacks her on the arm.</p><p>"Shut up or I won't hug you." Daisy threatens. Despite her words, she joins the cuddle pile on Hazel's side.</p><p>Lavinia grumbles slightly, but the group shifts to accommodate a fifth person, and that is how their dorm goes to sleep that night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this took me so long to update! My health issues got really bad and I now sort of can't read. But! It's fine! Anyways yeah hope this is alright!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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